If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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