Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
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dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Everyone says I win the strip club
Randomize