he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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