He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
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They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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