people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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