Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
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Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
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I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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