its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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