Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
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I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
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MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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