He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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