Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
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