hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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