then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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