You really coming over, don't trick.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
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Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
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I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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