I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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