It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
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the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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