it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
