Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
As shirtless as possible
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize