you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize