Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
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Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
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Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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