She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize