youre lurking in front of me
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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