Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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