How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize