I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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