if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize