is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize