i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
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I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
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sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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