I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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