is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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