he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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