The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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