so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
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Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
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Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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