I feel great
I just peed on a car
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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