true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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