she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The ass gains better be worth it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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