You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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