My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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