Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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