btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
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Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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