I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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