Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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