she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize