Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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