my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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