I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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