The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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