so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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