first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize