Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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