I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
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Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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